So, Just Stay Home

SO where, do we go from here?

For the last five days or so I have been pretending that life goes on as normal.  I ordered groceries off life and off line and  fussed at my kids - the new normal.  I did my regular daily work outs and face timed friends.  The outbreak is annoyingg but not stopping our daily lives.  Part of me knows this is not true.  Part of me sees the global indications, but I ignore this due to social media posts and a desire to see Spring Break as usual.  Meanwhile, my kids came in from LAX, dazed refugees from the pandemic on the west coast and the spring break panic.  COVID-19 is coming.

I can't hide from this one.   Can't protect my kids or make my own behavior ahead of the curve.  In this madness, everyone is vulnerable. and everyone is a possibility.  Social distancing....that's just fancy talk for some people obey the rules and some people don't.

And still I talk about "when this is over," while I ignored my stomach ache and fatigue and sense of something isn't right.  I mean,I didn't ignore the quarantine and when I was told to isolate or distance myself, while my kids watched with wide spread eyes, I did what they told me to do.

But my cough is coming   and my temperature is climbing despite my low risk status.  And I wear a mask and gloves, because I made sure my students were unafraid last week and I stayed to the end.

This is the new normal, my friends. Eventually, the majority of us will get this virus, and we can only hope it will be kind in its visit.  At this moment I have either corona virus or a host of other mild spring colds and flu bugs.  No way of knowing since my normally 97.4 temperature stays below 99.2. I'm not a canidate for testing.

Meanwhile, my college age kids brought me dinner in my room and only visit when I wear a mask and gloves, and they stand in a doorway more than 10 feet away.  They haven't been outside of this house in a week, and even longer for me.  And my household chores fall largely on them now.  To feed the pets and take out garbage and clean the house as I normally do.

Let me be clear I am a in no immediate danger. . I still do yoga and I'm still writing and working, but with a sense of being tired and a nagging cough catching up to me. My bedroom is sleeping space,  and office, and gym, and art studio, and library and more this week.  And likely next week too.   There is a part of me that hopes I don't have it, that I'm just suffering from normal spring allergies or a cold. Part of me would like to get it over with, so I can quit worrying.  Because odds are on my side that it'll be not much more than a week of unpleasantness.   Yet another part of me says I'm being a silly ninny because any sickness is bad.

This, this is our new reality.  Do we keep going forward or stop to halt an enemy we can't see.  Its a daily struggle.  And it doesn't matter our political leanings or our feelings.  It marches forward blindly and we have to respond in kind.  If you can stay home.  if you can stop progress in any way, do it.  Don't go to work.  Don't go to school.  Don't see that friend.  Stay home. It's not about a political agenda or altrusim.  This is about your dad or mom or friend who can't survive a respiratory virus or being in distress.  It's about your child who vapes despite telling you they don't.  It's about your friend who has risks they won't disclose. It's about people you know remotely who wouldn't connect with this virus if you just stayed home and read a book or watched Netflix.  I get it - I'm an ambivert who needs contact with others at time.  But get your contact online and away from a virus that doesn't give a shit about anything and lives to replicate and thrive without remorse.  It doesn't feel for us. It might be alive but isn't a life.  Your friends and family are lives.  Stay the fuck in your house for a few weeks.  I'll play words with friends with you.  You will probably win.  Stay home.

Stay home and play a game. I'll play one online with you or your kid.  Do an art project - I'll do it with you.  And yours will likely be more awesome.  Stay home.  write a story.  i'll read it aloud and will read you one of mine.  I do slam poetry too.  I'll read it for you, online, if you'll just stay home.  Stay home and live, so the rest of us can as well.