So, Women's Day, yeah, I can get behind that. And I am quietly supportive of those who felt the desire to participate in the day without women and didn't go to work today or didn't do housework, or cook, etc. I might go ahead and participate in that no housework thing, just to show my solidarity, you understand. See, I work in education, and I also believe that anyone in a service industry needs to suck it up and go to work and figure out another way to get their point across, because as important as this all is, so too must life go on and be safe and productive.
A little over a month ago, I marched at the Texas state capital with 50,000 or so other women and a few men, in the women's march, timed to happen just after the day our 45th president was sworn into office. Way more women marched that day to raise their voices than people came out to support a new world leader. It was, in fact, the largest protest of any kind in our nation's history. I'm no stranger to protesting - my only time riding in the back of a police cruiser was courtesy of my convictions and a few hours lying on the 14th street bridge in Washington D.C., when my sixteen year old self expressed outrage at injustice in the only way I knew how at the time. No, we didn't change the outcome of that situation, a man was still killed on circumstantial evidence and openly racist testimony, but I knew at least we had raised our voices as loudly as we were able. Since then, I have written many letters, marched more than once with like-minded strangers, and managed to not take another ride in the back of a patrol car. But the March on January 21 was special for a lot of reasons. Less anger, more solidarity, for one. In a crowd of around 50,000, I didn't experience more than a handful of those with hateful agendas or bad behavior. There was also a sense of importance in knowing our group was only one of many happening all around the country at the same time - knowing we were part of something larger. We reasserted how democracy can look, and that we haven't forgotten the lessons our grandmothers taught us about the strength of women.
See, I'm not one of the feminist movement who spend even a nano-second hating on men. I like men in general, and love a few in specific. I don't think women are any better or any more important than men. But, I also don't think they're any less important or any less special or capable or worthy. It's the whole idea of equality - to raise up all groups, not to tear anyone else down. That would make less of everyone.
I've not always embraced everything that the world sees as definitive femininity, and have been told I'm not much of a girl on more than one occasion. But still, I embrace what it means for me to be a woman, and what that looks like in my world. See, I appreciate that I can dress as I like, for the most part, and that I live in a place and a time when no one frowns on my showing my ankles, or legs, or arms, or face, or hair, and I can wear my hair as I like and work the job that I like and drive a car, and vote and play sports, and do a myriad of other things that my grandmother didn't enjoy at my age. And I appreciate the women who went before me and made those things possible in my world. The women who marched so that I would have the right to vote. The women who protested so that I could have my own bank account, in my own name. The women who risked their safety to make sure that I have the right to control what happens to my own body and my own reproductive organs.
It's an exciting time right now for women, and it's also exhausting. We are living under a leader who makes others feel free to express hatred, whether he voices it openly himself or not, the public perception of his persona has allowed every misogynistic, racist, homophobic caveman to crawl out from under their rocks and rubble and try to tell us what we can and should do with our bodies, our lives. Whether or not our president personally expresses those beliefs, he's allowed others to do so, and has opened up forums of hatred. Our current political climate has created boundaries between people stronger than any wall that could ever be built. And, I know, sometimes I try too hard to create peace between people, because there are times when the right thing is to pick up a pen or a sword, but in the end, I have to live with the people in my immediate life, and I don't have to talk to the people living in the white house. We can disagree without rancor or violence. So, I'm begging my women friends to remember, no matter their political opinions, on this International Women's day, that we are always stronger together. I do believe we are the stronger sex, because, well, god knows we've had to become that way. I might not win a contest of physical strength, but I promise you I will still be up and moving after every man I know has given up and laid down - because it's what the strong women around me have taught me to do. I am talking about the women who I have known personally and those who have influenced me through my whole life.
In honor of a day that honors our gender, I give to you some of my favorite strong, badass women, with their contributions both huge and small but significant (even if the significance is only to me).
1. Wonder Woman. Yes. Freaking Wonder Woman. I grew up watching reruns of Lynda Carter kicking butt in her boots and golden tiara. She was the strongest lady I could think of when I was five years old, with her lasso of truth. God, how I wanted that lasso of truth, so I could use it on my brother. Better than that, she was a fierce Amazon who embraced love and peace over violence, and she fought only as a last resort. But oh, she could kick butt when she was backed into a corner. Loosely based on inspiration by Margaret Sanger, her creator saw her as a physical embodiment of women's empowerment and she's stayed that through the years.
2. Eleanor of the Aquitaine. Come on, seriously, no one is surprised by how much I love this woman, are they? When I visited the castle at Dover about ten years ago, I appalled those around me by lying down on the floor of her bedchamber, sat in her windowsill, tried to see the world that she might have seen from that warped glass. I mean, you want to talk about a badass babe, this woman was Queen of France, but was put aside by her husband because she "only gave birth to girls." Guess she showed him, because three months after she had been put aside, she was betrothed to the man who would become the King of England, Henry II, and she gave him plenty of sons. Bloody, warring, violent sons who fought amongst themselves and plotted their nasty Plantagenet plots. There are stories that she marched with French soldiers into the Crusades, and she led a revolt against her own husband in favor of her youngest son in 1733, for which she was imprisoned for many years by Henry. I bet, if you could ask her now, she'd say it was totally worth it.
3. Katherine Hepburn. Not too coincidentally, Ms. Hepburn portrayed Eleanor of Aquitaine in the fabulous film The Lion in Winter and I honestly can't think of anyone who could have done that role as much justice. But Kate was a badass of epic proportions. She paved the way for women who followed her, breaking the mold of what a Hollywood starlet was expected to be at the time. Certainly she had her faults, admitting of herself that she was on occasion selfish and impatient, giving no time to press and often snapping off with sarcasm and biting wit. One story says that when she was told she could not wear pants on the studio lot, she walked around in her underwear. And she was referred to by the press as Katherine of Arrogance. But this woman lived a life full of adventure and rule breaking and fierce loving and boundary pushing. Through her art, she left us with a glimpse of what it meant to be more than just a pretty girl.
4. Maya Angelou. Yeah, it's another woman who doesn't really require much of any kind of explanation. This women redefined for many of us what it means to be a woman. A strong, creative, resilient woman who can weather any storm. A woman who was sexually abused as a young girl, who made a living as a prostitute and exotic dancer, a fry cook and went on to become an award winning writer, playwrite, director, and performer, she said it best with two words, "I rise." A good friend of mine has those words tattooed on her wrist to remind her that she too can rise above the things that have been out of her control in life. Angelou celebrated what it means to be a woman, acknowledged the weaknesses, and extolled the strengths. Her writing makes me want to be a better woman. A better person.
5. Michelle Obama. It's 2017, so I know it's OK to admit I've got just a little bit more than a little bit of a girl crush on Michelle Obama. Not just the first lady, but a genuine leader of causes, the way that all the really lovely first ladies have been. She was the wife of the first black president, and that would have made her memorable all on its own, but Michelle made her mark in so many ways. From her programs to get kids eating healthier to her humorous ways of reaching out to the American public. This lady was no less graceful than the wife of the president ought to be, and yet she was also genuine and funny and smart as hell. Ugh. Barack, you were nice, but damn I miss your wife on Pennsylvania Avenue.
6. Marie Curie. I'm a science nerd, so the fact that it was a woman who was the first person to ever win two Nobel prizes in science, well, that makes her one of my all time favorite people. She lost her first love, because his family did not wish him to marry her, and he reportedly regretted this well into his old age, where he was seen gazing at her statue on the square in their town. Marie was awarded Nobel prizes in both Physics and Chemistry and well respected in her field, which she taught at the University of Paris, as their first female professor. During her years of marriage, it was later discovered, Marie carried on a year long affair with a lab assistant of her then husband, and she weathered the scandal without substantial damage to her professional reputation. That in itself says how high of regard she was held in, in terms of her work. During World War II, she headed up the radiation department for the Red Cross, yet another first. She crossed boundaries, lived an incredible life across several countries, and was respected above all for her contributions to science. She's kind of a cliché on this list, I suppose, but I couldn't bear to leave her off - I wrote more than one paper on this lady when I was in school!
7. Madeline L'Engle. It's quite probable that it's only to me that L'Engle has had such an influence. When I was very young, my brother used to read to me, and the Wrinkle in Time series was one of my favorites. When I got older, I sought out some of L'Engle's other books. Some of these were fiction, but many are philosophical discussions, theology, memoirs and poetry. Through her books, I grew to know this woman, her husband, their incredible marriage, and her boundless faith in both god and science. As a woman in my early twenties, I remember being amazed at how absolute her belief was in both and that they coexisted within this woman, who wrote of them with equal eloquence, and could embrace both the known and unknown. She was a writer, a mother, an adventurer, and a complete lover of life. She traveled in hear early 80's to Antarctica, because she'd never been there. Her stories of traveling to post-war Europe and to South America punctuate her writing as well. And of all her experiences, her love, her sorrow, she shared freely and with incredible openness, inviting all of us along for a ride.
8. Yes. Yes, this is my daughter. I'm using her to represent not only both my children, because I think they're both pretty badass in their own way, but also the larger idea of the women who are coming after me. Katie voted for the first time this year, and that was pretty exciting, no matter the outcome. But these girls, they know a lot less limitations that I did, and nothing like my mother or grandmother knew in their days. For them, the future could be limitless, if we can work together, if we can hate the policies and not the people, and work toward change. I hope for them a future where their gender defines a part of who they are, but not their potential, that they build up the other women in their lives, not tear them down, and that they never back down from what they believe and what fires their passions.
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