The Lost Art of Fooling Around

I recently received a call from a company hoping to contact with our school's afterschool programs, teaching basic physical games and play skills. Wait, what? Play skills, seriously? Are we in so much danger as a society, after over-scheduling and over-analyzing our kids that we now have to teach them to play???

My daughter has several friends who are in therapy right now, learning how to handle all the stress in their lives. Stress? They are eleven. Eleven, my friends. Instead of scheduling them to see the therapist, maybe they ought to think about taking a few things off the kids' plates. When did it become necessary to apply for high schools, when here I thought it was a required part of growing up? And when did it become necessary to go into Middle School speaking foreign languages, being able to play an instrument, having already taken your PSATs and having an entire future already planned out. Kindergarteners should NOT be thinking about where they will go to college, people.

So, now we're realizing that something is wrong and there is a basic need not being met, and we're filling the gap by teaching organized classes in how to play? Whatever happened to just plain fooling around? Going outside with friends, siblings,...parents. Throwing a ball around, squirting a garden hose, building a fort that will never get finished, building mudpies, playing ball in someone's backyard? Mistakes are how we learn, as human beings. We're hardwired to profit from messing up. Having someone teach you how to correct social skills step-by-step is not learning.

So, I do not have a degree in psychology or sociology. I've spent 1/3 of my life working with kids and am raising two children of my own. Not exactly stellar qualifications, but I think I know the answer. It's stunning, and probably will need much research (said with eye rolling, of course). Here it is:

Turn off the cell phones. Turn off the tv. Go outside. Get out of the car. Get out of the drive through. Cancel the ballet lessons, the French lessons, the hip hop class and the karate. Take the kids out of Kumon and out of Sylvan for the afternoon. Go to the park. Go to the skating rink. Go to the beach. Make dinner together. Build a treehouse. Ride your bikes. Read a book together. Cancel the pre-planned playdates, and go meet your neighbors instead.

That's all. It's not high tech. It's not supported by research. It's not even a developed plan. But I can guarantee you that stress levels would drop and play would be found.

Go fool around.